It is kind of strange to think about never logging on to SL again. Thinking about never seeing my friend’s avi faces again makes me teary-eyed. Perhaps that is why I chose not to say good-bye “in person.” Finding the words to tell my friends how much I love them and how much I am going to miss them is insufferable. Nothing I can say will make anyone feel better about my decision, least of all me. Regardless of my lack of eloquent words, I will try to say good-bye and explain why I left in 1000 words or less.
I promise to keep “in touch” with all of you who care to read my blogs. I also promise to keep in touch with you through Yar. Yes, I realise it was not fair to leave without saying good-bye but I truly had no choice. My conviction was so severe that I had to act immediately and decisively. You are probably wondering at this point what could have happened in my RL to make me react so hastedly. Am I getting a divorce? Did I lose my job? Am I failing my classes? The answer to all of those questions is NO. There is no one event that caused me to leave SL. To be honest had been thinking about it for a long time, but did not have the courage. Did not want to leave Yar.
To be honest, I never thought I would find love in SL nor was I looking for it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Yar and I become one when we married in SL. In fact, she was the only reason I kept coming back even after I realised I had been neglecting my RL responsibilities. That may offend some of my friends that I would use the word “only.” but if you truly know Yar and I then you already understand. You also understand that love transcends limitations like keyboards, mice, and SL. What Yar and I have may have started in SL but lives in our hearts. If we were both left deaf, blind, and mute and had no other means to communicate our love would live on. If you understand that about us then you understand I did not leave Yar. I never could.
I know that this good-bye will leave some wanting more information about why I had to leave even after I explain it to the best of my abilitities. All I can do is repeat the mantra…real life comes first. I believe the following is true: where you spend your time, money and energy is where your heart is. My heart does not belong in SL. My heart belongs to God first (my Creator), and secondly my family. I am done wasting my time in SL looking for satisfaction in things that will never bring it. My greatest hope is that someone reading this will understand and come to the same conclusion. I will continue praying for each of you who have touched my life and encourage you to post questions or email me if you want. Rayn Halfpint out.